11/18/19

Dear Nate,

Lots of things I've wanted to post lately, but honestly I just want you to know that I love you so much. You're THE ONE. Everything I ever thought I knew about love, happiness, pleasure, was all wrong.

In fact Saturday I felt "this is the best feeling in the world" when you were inside me. I wish I did a better job at letting you know. Apparently I suck at that, but that's legit how I feel. 

You need to understand that your lack of plans affects EVERYONE. No one knows what they're doing until you know and that's not fair. I'm not going to keep telling you. You'll figure it out, but if you tell me on Monday AT LUNCH that you're going to see Lauryn and you decide to stay home....I am going to do what I planned to do. 

Also, I think....I know that fall and winter suck for me. I get sad because I have no family here other than my son who I havent seen in nearly three months. The holidays depress me. I don't want to talk about them. I'll be alone. I'll make it, but just don't want to talk about it. 

Hope this helps. I love you MORE.